This Is Who I Am

Running has become such a big part of my life. It's one of the major things that defines me right now. Which is kind of weird because I haven't been running very long. But, I'm addicted. I can't stop. I keep signing up for races. I can't stop that either. If there is any way I can possibly fit a race into my schedule, then I'm there. There's a huge feeling of excitement and anticipation and anxiety before a race (weeks and even months before a race). I thrive on that feeling. The closer I get to a big race, the less sleep I get. I wake up early and just lay in bed thinking about the next race or the next long run. When someone asks me how a training run went, I honestly don't know what to say. I could spend 2 hours answering the perfectly harmless question ("Oh, you know, it started off pretty rough. The first 2 miles are always the toughest for me. I mean, I walked and stretched beforehand but it's like my legs didn't really wake up until after 2 miles. They just felt kind of heavy and tight. But, after mile 2 it was pretty good. I did get a little hungry after that and I just wanted to quit running and go eat, but I ran through the hunger and it eventually went away".... and on and on). Seriously. And I know these kind friends really don't care to know the details. But, I can't talk about a run without giving the details. Sometimes Crystal and I will go to lunch or something just so we can talk about running without feeling bad for the other people who are with us (who really don't care about how many black toenails Lisa has now, etc--and I don't blame them). But, thank you to all of you wonderful friends and family members who patiently listen (or tune me out--that's fine, too). I'm not sure if this running thing is just a phase I'm going through, or if it's the real deal. But, I've found something that I really enjoy. It gives me time to meditate and think about the deeper things in life (okay, that's only when I'm not thinking about how much this body part hurts, or what I'm going to eat when I finish running, or how much further I have to run, or I hope that person sees me and doesn't run into me, etc). It gives me little goals to work toward. Those goals are constantly changing with each race. It gives me something to look forward to at the end of a long, hard day. It gives me confidence that I can do hard things. This is who I am right now. And I'm very happy.



PS--I'm running the National Marathon in Washington, DC this Saturday (race day forecast predicted to be 51 degrees/partly cloudy).

PPS--Read my brother's blog, I Keep Running, for a more eloquent explanation of the running experience.